From Ed Chassaing

17 October 2009
[btw, I know your birthday is next week, but this is when I’m sending this]

Willie…Will…William…
Names that have crossed my path my entire life, and have had the most positive effects on me.

The first “William” was ‘Uncle Bill’ my adoptive father. He met me when he and my Aunt were engaged and I was living in an orphan home, around 3 years old. I owe most of my upbringing and values to that William. Uncle Bill passed away in November of 1995.

The second “William” is my son, Willy, or how he has wanted to be called since his early teens, Will. I didn’t know I could love anyone as much as I did my daughter, Katie, since she captured my heart immediately after she was born and our relationship has continued to grow to this day. But to my amazing surprise, I found that I could love another every bit as much as I did my daughter, but this time it was my son, Willy. As I may have mentioned to you before, I cannot love anyone more than I love my son, Katie, but I cannot love anyone more than I love my son, Willy, either. It’s an unexplainable phenomenon, but it’s true…the loves are different, of course, because they’re different people, but they are both all-consuming and wonderful. Despite what good counselors may proclaim, and I don’t doubt their wisdom, I am unable to love anyone more than my children.

But I have found through this love of Katie and Will that I can in fact have other relationships that are every bit as heartfelt and deep and loving, even if they are not exactly the same. One of those has been fairly recent with my wife Lisa. I know we’ve all spent a little time together – you Tanya, Lisa and me –and we would definitely like to get back together again. As you have probably taught me as much as anyone, all loves are not equal, and of course not the same, but each is unique and fulfilling in its own way.

And of course, this note is not about me or the others whom I have come to love over the years, but to you, the third of the “Williams” who are so special to me (and forgive me, but I don’t remember if you are indeed a “William” officially, of if “Willie” is your given name). From the time that Tim introduced us – was it 1990? 1991? – I felt a strong connection and mutual respect that I had not experienced since I left the seminary in the late 70s. It’s so rare to find another mature, creative male figure that I can share a deep respect and loving friendship with. It’s not something that is typically expressed openly amongst heterosexual males in our society. But I do love you Willie, and I wish we could spend more regular time together.

How are your studies coming? Are you still developing your “personal / career development” business? When are we going to get back together again?
Well these are only a few of the dozens of things that we need to catch up on, but now we’re getting ready to celebrate your graduation into the AARP fraternity. Welcome…jump on in…the water’s cooler, but not freezing. Caution is a good rule to live by, as certain harsh realities become more clear: you’re still the best basketball player that I’ve had the fortune of teaming with and playing against on a regular basis, but I think the Lakers are going to stick with Kobe over the “next Michael” who performs weekly at Richland CC. But as you know, injuries are more painful and take longer to recover from, so please take it easy…at least easier.

In the end, when I try to describe the Willie that I’ve come to love so much as one of my dearest, albeit distant friends, I think of the a Jonathan Swift saying that I admire: “May you live all the days of your life.” Sounds simple, but I think so many of us, and this is definitely applies to me, simply exist…survive…struggle to make it through the present times, with the hope of something more fulfilling in the future. But the ‘present’ is the gift of life today, and there’s no way of knowing if any tomorrow will be better, or if we even get another tomorrow, so living each day to the fullest is our biggest challenge. And I can honestly say that you, Willie, are one of the people that I truly admire in this regard. You’ve lived your life, regardless of the challenges or barriers, to the fullest of anyone I’ve known.

And as we celebrate this milestone birthday, I look forward to hearing about your plans to live the next 50 years!

With all my love…Ed